If The Guardian’s Stuart Heritage could make a podcast, it would be about the X Factor. And it would be called ‘The X Factor Podcast’. Although known mainly for screen-based reviews, observations and trying to slip X-Factor references in wherever possible, the one thing everyone wants to know is, let’s be honest, what he thinks about podcasts. And maybe a bit about whale song. Thank the lord for the Audio Journalism blog…
Hi. What do you think of podcasts?
The Bugle is always a favourite. I also like the stuff Richard Herring does with Andrew Collins, and a few of The Guardian‘s podcasts. But finding a podcast that I like tends to involve wading through about a million hopeless, boring, crappy ones first. Why can’t all podcasts be good? Why?
Ok, if you could create one, what would it be?
Entertainment Weekly sometimes does a great podcast about American Idol, where they just pile a bunch of writers together and get them to pick each episode apart in a really snappy, witty way. I’d probably rip this idea off but make it about X Factor. However, I think I might be the only person involved with The Guardian who gives even the remotest stuff about X Factor, so there’s a good chance the whole thing might just be me in a room by myself, crying. I’d call it X Factor Podcast. Because I have no imagination.
Have you ever made one before?
I attempted to a couple of years ago. The plan was for it to be a hard-hitting news satire thing but, in my opinion at least, it didn’t really work out. It was a bit flat and tedious and we didn’t research anything properly and I think I’d die of humiliation if people ever heard it.
You are locked in a small box and subjected to one continuous sound for 36 hours. What would your preferred sound be?
I’m tempted to say whalesong or some other kind of new-age bollocks, in the dumb hope that it’d make me relax and go to sleep. However, experience has taught me that whalesong gets a bit oppressive after about 45 minutes, so there’s a good chance I’d try to deliberately fracture my skull on the sides of the box to make it stop if this actually happened. Therefore, my answer is this: the continuous sound of everyone outside the box crying and saying how much they miss me. See? Needy AND vain.
So. Now you know…